HCLM BLOG

I’m just having one of those days.  Every now and then, I just get this inkling that I’ve gotten off track.  It didn’t happen fast and there isn’t one thing I can point to, but somewhere I’ve gone off the path.

I preached about investing the other week, and it really made me evaluate my own life and the things that I’ve invested in.  And quite honestly, I’m feeling a little convicted.  If someone were to look at my life from the outside, they’d think I was doing alright.  I’m not trying to brag, just trying to realistically evaluate my life.  I’m 27 years old, graduated with a Masters degree, doing what I love to do while at the same time making a good amount of money with my internet business.  I’m married to a healthy, beautiful wife and have one amazing son with another one on the way.  I just bought a house that is huge and beautiful, drive a car that is relatively new, have numerous great friends and a loving family. I can eat whatever and wherever I want, have bought some of the latest technology, and so on and so on.

But something about me isn’t satisfied.  In fact, something inside me thinks that all of this stuff is worthless.  I know there are people that are hurting out there but I’m much more content driving home and closing the garage, turning on one of my LCD TV’s that I own sitting in one of my La-Z-Boy’s that I own and just watching football.

You may think I’m being hard on myself.  But the truth of it is, I’m ready for a change.  None of the stuff God has given to me is wrong.  But what has happened is that slowly, I’m being comforted by the things in my life and I’d rather go after one of them than pursue God.  They have my heart rather than God.  I’d rather watch football than spend some quality time with God.  I’d rather look at Best Buy to see what’s new than explore God’s Word to see what’s something new I might learn about my Creator.

I don’t think I’m alone.  I think there are people in our church who aren’t satisfied either.  People who know they were created for something more.  I want God to have my heart.   If you want God to have your heart, what are you going to do about it?  I’m anxious to hear from you.  I personally am thinking about how I can be more giving and generous with what God has given to me.  I don’t want the stuff that I have to own me and right now it does.  If you are in the same boat as me, then try this from Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love, “Jesus, I need to give myself up.  I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own.  I can’t do it, and I need You.  I need You deeply and desperately.  I believe you are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next.  I want You.  And when I don’t, I want to want You.  Be all in me.  Take all of me.  Have Your way with me.”

God, have your way with our church, and help us not find our safety, comfort, and security in the things of this world, but only in You and Your grace!

Is anyone else tired of all the signs, commercials and mailers on politics? It seems to be rare to find a candidate that can break away from telling the world why their opponent is unqualified and/or incompetent to actually tell us what THEY are for. And when they do miraculously take a moment to do so, they are so generic and shallow (lower taxes, pay down the debt, create more jobs) that they lack any substance. Enough!

I wonder what it must have been like for Paul when he wrote to Timothy, "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." 1 Timothy 4:3. Enough.

So instead of getting angry or not vote, I'm going to be thankful that I follow Jesus who doesn't tell me what I want to hear but what I NEED to hear. Refreshing.

Thursday night I was picking up the leftovers from Panera across the street from church. I really didn’t want to. It was a long day. I had just finished a meeting and wanted to go home. Esteban, our student ministry intern who also works there while going to school, texted me and asked me if I could do it. He had arranged for us to be the recipient of those gifts starting tonight. There I ran into one of the workers and through our conversation said that she was looking for a church to go to. Even I can walk through a door that is open that wide. In the course of our conversation, she shared that she had to drop out of school to care for her ailing mother. She works on Sunday mornings but was looking for a place to belong; I imagine looking for hope and support. I thought Esteban’s team would be perfect. I invited her. I knew she needed to finish her closing responsibilities but I didn’t want to end our conversation using a Christianize phrase, “I’ll pray for you.” Then I thought of another team, led by Michelle Bergman. Once a month, on the first Thursday, they break from their routine of praying through our prayer list to hold a prayer service so we can specifically pray for healing. I got over my fear of rejection and also invited her and her mom to come on November 4. She had tears in her eyes. I hope she comes. More importantly, I hope in those few moments, that she felt as if God was connecting with her. 

Zach, Paul and I take turns doing chapel for the Pre-school and Academy children. Today was my day. We have been using the theme, blessed to be a blessing. Today's characters were Abram and Lot, Genesis 13 if you want to give it a read. I shared a few simple truths with them and now I share them with you. 1) Having more stuff is not always a good thing. It caused problems between Abram and Lot's people. 2) Everything we have is God's. We are just stewards. I spent some time on this second point, holding up toys, chairs and even my shoes. "Who's is this?" To which the children responded, "God's." 3) God can take back His stuff whenever He wants. (Cool side note...the section of land that Lot picked, having been given the honor of choosing first, is now desert.) Isn't it cool that God thinks enough of us to give us anything to begin with and that He doesn't love us less when we forget these simple truths.

After chapel and the high five's and personal blessings for the kids, one of the teachers reported to me what one of the children told her on their way out. "My shoes don't fit anymore. I guess I should give them back to God." I think she got it.

We should all spend more time listening to children. You'll hear the voice of God.

I like to listen. There is always a lot to learn. Whether it is books on CD (from the library...frugal or just cheap?), sermons or podcasts, I like listening to things. One of my favorite podcasts is This American Life. 

It was really quiet in my house this morning, Margaret is in Iowa on business. I broke the silence with my ipod. This episode was entitled, "Unconditional Love." I have heard it said that pet owners get the closest to experiencing unconditional love. After this podcast, I was humbled by the acts of love by the two sets of parents that they interviewed. Sitting alone at home, I found myself enveloped by a feeling of thankfulness for my family and friends. Then I found myself with a new resolve to allow God to use me to express His unconditional love to whomever I meet today. You can listen to it here.

I had a voice mail today when I arrived from a family that have been worshiping with us for about a year. Her husband was killed in a boating accident this week. We're doing the funeral this Thursday. I pray they experience the unconditional love of God.

"There is something in this universe which is the very opposite of God; it is the self.  The activity of the self is the source of all the evil nature as well as all the evil deeds of man.  On the other hand, the loss of the selfhood in the soul increases the purity of the soul!  In fact, the soul's purity is increased in exact proportion to the loss of self!

As long as you employ your self-nature in any way, some faults will also continue to exist in you.  But after you depart from your selfhood, no faults can exist, and all is purity and innocence.

It was the entrance of the self, which came into the soul as a result of the fall, that established a difference between the soul and God.

How can two things so opposite as the soul and God ever be united?  How can the purity of God and the impurity of man be made one?  How can the simplicity (or singleness) of God and the multiplicity (endless fickleness) of man ever melt into one element?

Certainly, much more is required than just the efforts that you can make.

What, then, is necessary for union to be achieved?  A move on the part of Almighty God Himself.  This alone can ever accomplish union.

For two things to become one, the two must have similar natures.  For instance, the impurity of dirt cannot be united with the purity of gold.  Fire has to be introduced to destroy the dross and leave the gold pure.  This is why God sends a fire to the earth (it is called His Wisdom) to destroy all that is impure in you.  Nothing can resist the power of that fire.  It consumes everything.  His Wisdom burns away all the impurities in a man for one purpose: to leave him fit for divine union."

-Guyon

In the modern church today, you hear a lot of talk about being ________ for God and doing _________ for God.  God wants you to go here, think this way, etc.  You need to read your Bible, you need to go to church, you need to love others, you need to pray more.  You know what's so crazy about all of this stuff?  It seems so pious and righteous until you really step back and think about what you're saying.  Did anyone even notice that every single thing I mentioned above has to do with...YOU!  Now, of course we want it to sound like the main focus is God; He's the one we're doing and being and thinking (etc.) for, right?  But when you boil it all down, it's actually about US!  We sort of get into this almost unconscious mindset where God is like an invalid, bedridden and not really all that personal, unable to really do much.  But we know He died on the cross for us way back in the day, so out of gratitude we humor Him and try our best to walk and talk the way He wants us to; to do the things we think He would do "if He was here Himself"/"if He was able".

A lot of us don't really want to admit this, but if we take a step back and look at modern Christianity, there is a lot of stuff that really has nothing to do with God, but has a whole lot to do with US!  Oh sure, we might slap God's name or picture on the things we're doing, but as far as what's really going on, it's about what we do, what we say, what we think, what we want, and especially how it all makes us feel. We've got to wake up!

Acts 17:25: "And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."
The Christian life is NOT about serving God/doing things for God!  The foundation of the Christian life is simply this:  "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." - Luke 9:24

If you are doing something for God right now...STOP!  God is not served with human hands!  Anything of value that goes on with us is God Himself working through us, not us working for Him.  Some might shrug that statement off with a "well, it's basically the same thing; let's not get caught up on the wording."  Pardon me, but the difference between doing something for God and God working through you is wider and deeper than the Grand Canyon!  The things that we are doing for God have to do with us; there's no way around this.  God working through us implies that He is the one acting; He is the one willing.  He is the one who is everything.  It implies that our own life, our self, has taken a backseat, and has submitted instead to God's desire.

The real Christian life has absolutely nothing to do with us, and everything to do with God Himself.  I love how Jean Guyon put it: "His Wisdom burns away all the impurities in a man for one purpose: to leave him fit for divine union."  This is God's grand desire for your life; that by simply yielding to His will, your own would fade away; that there would be but one will, one set of passions and dreams and desires between the two of you.  Let all else in this life come and go as it may, but this window to God's heart--this lifestyle of losing your own life in order to really find it--will forever be at the core of what it means to be Christian.

"How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son, To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss, The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One, Bring many sons to glory"

-Stuart Townend

"How then will you come to the Lord to know Him in such a deep way?  Prayer is the key.  But I have in mind a certain kind of prayer.  It is a kind of prayer that is very simple and yet holds the key to perfection and goodness--things found only in God Himself.  The type of prayer that I have in mind will deliver you from enslavement to every sin.  It is a prayer that will release to you every Godly virtue. 

You see, the only way to be perfect is to walk in the presence of God.  The only way you can live in His presence in uninterrupted fellowship is by means of prayer, but a very special kind of prayer.  It is a prayer that leads you into the presence of God and keeps you there at all times; a prayer that can be experienced under any conditions, any place, and any time.

Is there really such a prayer?  Does such an experience with Christ truly exist?

Yes, there is such a prayer!  A prayer that does not interfere with your outward activities or your daily routine.

There is a kind of prayer that can be practiced by kinds, by priests, by soldiers, by laborers, by children, by women, and even by the sick.

May I hasten to say that the kind of prayer I am speaking of is not a prayer that comes from your mind.  It is a prayer that begins in the heart.  It does not come from your understanding or your thoughts.  Prayer offered to the Lord from your mind simply would not be adequate.  Why?  Because your mind is very limited.  The mind can pay attention to only one things at a time.  Prayer that comes out of the heart is not interrupted by thinking!  I will go so far as to say that nothing can interrupt this prayer, the prayer of simplicity."

-Madam Guyon

I was waiting my turn at the chiropractors office this morning. Just one person in front of me so I could quickly get back to the to do list. A few seconds either way and I would have missed this gem of a conversation between a dad and his small daughter.

This man's daughter, probably about 2 or 3 wanted to go to the play room. I assume she really wanted to go because she asked several times, rather politely, in that little kid kind of way. The father refused each request but I guess he finally thought it would be beneficial to reason with her, giving her an explanation for his denial to her requests. "You can't be in there alone," he finally said. "But dad," in a beautiful, polite, little girl voice, "I'm not alone. Jesus is with me." I waited with a smile for a comeback. "How do you argue that?" was his reply to me, obviously seeing that I was interested.

Oh the concrete thinking of a little child. I was so proud that here was a little girl that got it. I wish I would keep that truth in the forefront of my mind. I confess that I have begun many days with "get out of my way, I have a lot to do." God, forgive me for those moments. 

The dad was saved by being called into the room. He said he wanted her to be with him. Already thinking of a blog, I was waiting for a great line like, "you want me to be God with skin on for you?" but there was no such line. Just a gentle reminder of the presence of God in our lives. I needed that.

"Virtue starts to grow in a heart that desires the will of God.  It is not a question of knowing a lot, or being talented, or even of doing great deeds.  All that you really need is to long to belong completely to God.  But how does your will come to this place?  by conforming little by little, but without reservation, to what God wants.  You must learn to bring your weak will in line with God's all-powerful one.  Here you will find inexhaustible and never-ending peace and joy.

Adore, praise, and bless God for everything!  See Him in all things.  There is no longer anything truly evil in your life for God uses even the most terrible sufferings to work for your good because you love Him.  Can the troubles God uses to purify your life be called evil?  Think of what these troubles accomplish in your life.

Rest all your cares on the bosom of the Father.  Be content to follow His will in all things, and to let Him bring your will into harmony and oneness with Him.  Do not resist Him as He works within you.  If you feel resistance rising up inside of you, turn to Him and take His side against your own rebellious nature.  He will know what to do.  Learn not to grive the Holy Spirit within you, for He watches over your inner life.  Learn from past mistakes you have made without getting discouraged.

How can you better glorify God than by renouncing your own desires and letting Him do what pleases Him?  He is truly your God when you see nothing but the hand of God ruling over all things in your life, and you worship Him with no outside pressure and even with no inward comfort.

To want to serve God in some conditions, but not others, is to serve Him in your own way.  But to put no limits on your submission to God is truly dying to yourself.  This is how to worship God!

Open yourself to God without measure.  Let His life flow through you like a torrent.  Fear nothing on the road you are walking.  God will lead you by the hand.  Let your love for Him cast out the fear you feel for yourself."

-Francios Fenelon

This particular bit from Fenelon totally blew me away: "There is no longer anything truly evil in your life for God uses even the most terrible sufferings to work for your good because you love Him.  Can the troubles God uses to purify your life be called evil?"

Wow!  How incredible of a statement is that?  Without God, we have no chance but to sink into a slow downward spiral, with all the difficulties and uncertainties of life pulling on us and catching us up until we are reduced to nothing.  But we have a God whose heart is all about drawing out the beauty in everything.  We have a God that works beauty into even the ugliest of circumstances; who meets us in the dungeons--sometimes literal ones, but more often in the ones we build for ourselves inside--and starts breathing His life into us right where we're at.  We have a God that doesn't waste a single moment; who custom-fits everything He does and says in our lives to draw out the best of us.

Choose right now to really believe that right where you are is exactly where God has placed you.  Start right here, right now, to let Him have His way in your life.  No special prayers, no list of steps...just surrender to Him; yield to Him.  Learn to be second, to let God weave His beauty through every part of your life.